Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Green mimosas i think yes
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
