Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just found a bag of teeth...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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