Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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