at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
