the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize