Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
