It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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