Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
