if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
