Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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