Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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