There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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