just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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