He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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