Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Of course I have a pirate flag
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
