please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
