ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize