They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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