Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
