Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
