Pappa wants mamma naked
from now on my penis is your penis
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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