so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
