Already got asked if we're dating
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
