he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
