I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
