I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
