He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
