she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
