hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
