he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
