Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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