If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
