Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
