I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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