If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
