I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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