Are we in a gay sports bar?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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