Can Purell be used as lube?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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