guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
