maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize