I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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