...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
