I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
