she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
