Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
