on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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