is your mom at the bar?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize