WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We need to rekindle our bromance
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
