Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
