i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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