found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
