spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
