i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
