umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
