I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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