Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
