Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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