my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
