I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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