My hand turned me down
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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