I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize