I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
