He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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